I needed a pelvic exam today and saw a midwife instead of someone on my gynecologist or fertility doctor’s team. I was really scared - nobody new has been allowed to examine me for years. I’m very picky about my pelvic practitioners!

I was there for an hour. We talked about my pelvic pain history and what I’ve been through recently with IVF. She reassured me that, although my last retrieval procedure was two months ago, my hormones and body were far from settled - that it’s ok to tread gently and lightly, to sleep more, to worry more.

And she gave me my first true “trauma-informed pelvic exam” - it melted my fears and alleviated my need to feel on-guard or like I needed to remain an alert advocate for myself while being examined. She was so, so wonderful, and I never felt vulnerable; she said that my chart reflected medical-induced traumas and she wanted to ensure I controlled the exam. She made me feel understood, strong, and empowered.

Had to share, because these exams and experiences *are* available, and you should never feel scared, vulnerable, judged, or minimized. It’s your body, and they should be on *your* side - not something/someone against whom you need to protect yourself. So find those providers who make you feel safe and strong. 💛