Subject: Sending a Virtual Hug

You have a friend who has confided in you that they’re dealing with pelvic pain. You don’t know much about it, and you’re worried that you’re going to put your foot in your mouth. Do you ask them for details? Isn’t “pelvic stuff” really private? What if you don’t know what to ask or say?

Consider the email below, which I would’ve loved to receive when I was struggling with pain. The important thing is that you’re empathetic, you make yourself available to provide support, and you’re nonjudgmental. Don’t be afraid to ask questions either, but watch for indications that they’re overwhelming your friend, and ask if they’d rather not discuss the details. (Keep in mind that most women with pelvic pain see a lot of providers before they receive a diagnosis, and it can be a bit exhausting to keep recounting your “story.”)

Whatever you say, do, or write, the important thing is that you’re there. xo.

Dear You,

I’m sending you a virtual hug. I wanted to reach out and let you know that I’m thinking about you and this pain journey you’re on, and I wanted to be sure you know that you’re not alone. I’m here for you — ready to listen, binge reality TV, or grab a cup of coffee.

I can’t put myself in your shoes, but I’d imagine that this has felt so hard and even overwhelming. I’m a willing ear, ready to validate your frustration, exhaustion, anger, and fear. I’m also willing company for when you want to not talk about it. I can beleaguer you with tales of life under the reign of an almost-two-year-old. ;)

When I’ve had my own health issues, I learned (the hard and slow way) that it's crucial to remember that healing isn't always linear. There are always ups and downs, good days and truly shitty days. But know that I think you’re incredibly strong for pushing through, for persevering. I admire your resilience (and yes, I see your resilience! I know you might not feel that way right now.)

Always remember that your life is so full of friends and loved ones who care deeply about you. We're in your corner, and we’d jump at the chance to do anything that would help you (even just a little). If you ever need someone to talk to, a distraction, or a little boost of positivity, please reach out.

Something else that I learned: remember that you’re not defined by this pain. It can be hard for us to not define ourselves by our challenges. While you might one day choose to define yourself by this experience (as a speaker, writer, or clinician), it’s not the pain’s decision to choose that path for you.

Sending you positive energy and healing thoughts.

xo

Erin

Embrace the Sunshine: Why Summer is the Perfect Time for Women with Pelvic Pain to Seek Treatment

As the warmth of summer and longer days linger, they bring with them a good opportunity to seek out pelvic pain treatment . While pelvic pain can be debilitating, the summertime offers unique advantages that can help smooth the road to recovery.

You have more flexibility and time!
Summer often means a more relaxed and flexible schedule, with vacations, breaks from school or work, and longer daylight hours. This can give you the necessary time and freedom to focus on your health and pursue the treatment you need but have been putting on the backburner because of how “busy” life feels. By prioritizing your well-being during this season, you can take advantage of the extra daylight hours to research treatment options, schedule appointments, and engage in various therapeutic activities without the added pressures of a busy routine.

Comfortable Clothes and Outdoor Time
Summer fashion tends to be more relaxed and forgiving, with lighter and looser clothing options. This can be particularly beneficial for those experiencing pelvic pain, as you may prefer breathable fabrics that don’t exacerbate discomfort. Think loose maxi dresses, harem pants, swim dresses in breathable fabrics like linen and cotton. Additionally, the warm weather and longer days allow for more outdoor activities like meandering walks, yoga in the park, or swimming. These can keep things low-impact while getting the blood flowing — all of which is good for your pelvic floor (so long as your provider agrees!)

Nature’s Medicine
Spending time in nature can have a profound impact on our mental and physical well-being. The healing power of nature, combined with summer’s abundant sunlight, fresh air, and vitamin D, can make your pelvic pain feel more manageable. Time outside can be grounding — even if it’s just laying in the grass with your pup or in the hammock with a book. The way that time outside stimulates your senses — the sound of birds chirping, the scent of freshly mown grass, the slivers of sunlight that make you squint (or, in my case, sneeze!), the warmth of the sun on your skin — and this immersive experience can help your mind drift from focusing on your pain to your surroundings.

Supportive Community and Retreats:
Summer is often a time of abundant social gatherings, meetups, and activities. This means events for new moms, for those struggling with pain, and for every other shared experience imaginable (book clubs, cooking clubs, therapy groups, yoga meetups). By seeking out and joining a support or friendship group of other women with pain, you might find yourself with a safe space to share your experiences and find solace in knowing you are not alone. These connections can foster a sense of belonging, offer valuable insights, and provide access to a network of women who can help to guide you towards effective treatment options.

Enhanced Mental Health
Pelvic pain can take a toll on your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation. The brighter, sunnier days of summer can have a positive impact on your mood and well-being. With an improved mindset, you may find it easier to tackle the challenges associated with your pain and proactively seek the treatment you need. Some of us just find that we have that extra “spring in our step” during the summertime.

Throw on some comfy clothes, leave your undies at home (if they’re not comfortable), go out for a slow stroll, and call that provider you’ve had on your to-do list all year. It’s a great time to take care of you.