Graded exposure to work: How I did it with the help of some furry friends

Graded exposure to work: How I did it with the help of some furry friends

My months at the dog daycare were some of the most powerful in my recovery.  When I started work, I struggled with the basics – keeping a routine, maintaining enough energy to get to work, and learning new tasks.  The job was fun and challenging; it was manual labor, and it gave me confidence in my strength – and, importantly, in my ability to integrate my strength into my responsibilities.  Previously, I’d kept the two separate: my responsibilities lived in my laptop, which I used from the security of the sofa; meanwhile, my strength lived at the yoga studio, but I didn’t push its limits outside those walls.  This job, though, combined the two, and it taught me how to harness my energy and [literally] play well with others again.

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Why I refuse to do "everything in moderation"

Why I refuse to do "everything in moderation"

Today, as I ran from my physical therapist's clinic to my yoga studio, I was reminded of something that I can't afford to moderate: my courage. At one point, as I've shared, going to my PT's clinic ("my PT") for tune-ups was a challenge.  I wanted to be "better," and I thought that meant "having no need for any medical intervention."  As I've grown these past two years, becoming an athlete, a yogi, a 40-pounds-heavier, living, breathing woman, I've changed my mind. My PT is vital to my enjoyment of life, because she allows me to continue to be courageous.  She'll be there if I fall (as she's demonstrated oh-so-many times before).

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Why providers should hear my patient story

Why providers should hear my patient story

If you’re a provider who treats those who hurt, I urge you to stay above the chaos of pain’s wrecking ball.  You need to remain logical, focused on the end-goal and the pain science and the sensitivity of the patient’s nervous system.  You need to be willing to refer patients to other providers.  Be careful not to attempt treatments that are likely to worsen the patient’s suffering, simply because you’ve exhausted all other treatment modalities.

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Let's talk about sex. (+ vaginal pain + patient-provider communication)

Let's talk about sex. (+ vaginal pain + patient-provider communication)

For years, my pelvic pain prevented me from having the fun, spontaneous, gloriously cliché 20-something sex that my friends were enjoying. You know – the kind of sex that they gushed about at brunch.  Sex that was breaking their hearts and exhilarating their sense of liberated womanhood and adulthood.  Sex that their doctors were lecturing them about.  I couldn’t have that kind of sex because my vagina (and vulva and back and thighs) were excruciatingly painful.  That was my dirty little secret.

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Dealing with the disconnect between being "healthy" and "pain-free"

Dealing with the disconnect between being "healthy" and "pain-free"

I walked out the door of the clinic that day proud and nervous.  Was I really better?  She assured me that I was.  My doctor and husband and family and girlfriends assured me that I was.  So, I figured I’d take this “healthy” thing for a spin.

If health is a state of existing in perfect comfort and contentment, it was short lived.

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Demystifying "supported independence" as a treatment goal

Demystifying "supported independence" as a treatment goal

When I stopped seeing my PT regularly, I tried to avoid coming back in for visits.  I wanted to feel like I was actually healthy, and not relying so heavily on her help.  This sounds silly now, but at the time, I hadn’t gone more than a couple of weeks without PT for years.  But after seeing my health through this goofy construct for a few months, I began to understand that a much better goal is a state of “supported independence.”

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A 5-point plan for getting help with your 'down there' health

A 5-point plan for getting help with your 'down there' health

So you have pain with sex, or you leak urine when you sneeze, or you feel a bulge in your vagina, or you have chronic constipation or any other “down there” health concern.  Where do you begin?  Having suffered from pelvic pain and an assortment of related health issues for years, these are my suggestions for finding the right provider, getting the help you need, and speaking candidly about tough issues.

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“But you don’t look sick.”

“But you don’t look sick.”

I opened the driver door and was confronted with a wave of judgment and anger.  The man yelled at me: “can’t you see we are still getting into our car? You’re not even disabled! You shouldn’t even be parking there!” I flushed with embarrassment and became shaky.  And for the first time in my life, I yelled at someone in public. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. You know nothing about me!”

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